A Little Bit Of Humour # 164

WHY DID THE VOYEUR CROSS THE ROAD?

Why did the voyeur cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could find somewhere to hide

THE WAY TO GARDEN EFFECTIVELY

To garden effectively, firstly, put on a hat
But be very careful, and choose the right one
Straw preferably, and it should have a
Wide brim to protect you from the sun
Some old clothes, but nothing too scruffy
It should be a stylish yet practical rig
And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink
In the other, tell somebody else where to dig

THERE IS AN OWL OF LOW MORALS

There is an Owl of low morals
That frequents our park
And subsequently it doesn’t
Give a hoot after dark

SHEER EXTRAVAGANCE

A husband pays five hundred pounds
To get his wife a sheer negligée
So she thought she should pose for him
As it was a lot of money to pay
But decided to pretend to wear the item
And then next day get a refund on it
He looked on wide eyed and said
“For the price they could have ironed it”

A MAN WAS LEFT MENTALLY SCARRED

A man was left mentally scarred
After swinging from trees in his yard
When a branch snagged on his leotard
So he was hoisted on his own petard

A ROYAL WARRANT

In order for a Baker to get
A Royal warrant, it is said
They need to be like many
Royals and be inter-bred

THE BORDER AGENCY ARE STRUGGLING

The border agency are struggling
To prevent mosquitos from getting in
They’re very cunning creatures
Who all claim to be Asylum Zika’s

OUR NEIGHBOURS ARE ORGANIC DAIRY FARMERS

Our neighbours are organic dairy farmers
With special diets and all that ilk
N’owt good ever came of pampering cows
And all you’ll ever get is spoilt milk

NOBEL PRIZE’S

They give Nobel Prize’s for anything now
And the latest recipient has been revealed
The winner is a scarecrow of all things
Mind you he is outstanding in his field

IT RAINS IN ENGLAND

England has a reputation for being wet
And it’s a well-deserved one I fear
And the simple reason for that is that
The Queen has reigned so many years

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A Little Bit Of Humour # 164