A Little Bit Of Humour # 172

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 373

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a lama
The former was a grump
But the latter was a charmer

SO IF IT IS CORRECT THAT ONE # 1

So if it is correct that
One may be “that”
And multiples would be those
Yet the singular hat
Would in the plural
Be hats and never hose

PUT DOWN # 60

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “hey doll can I buy you a drink”
Ignore him unless he persists then say
“How many times do I have to flush
Before you go away?”

SUICIDE IS PAINLESS, ACCORDING TO THE SONG

Suicide is painless, according to the song
I think it’s supposed to be a witticism
But I have always thought of suicide
As the most sincere form of self-criticism

MY BROTHER AND I ARE CHALK AND CHEESE

My brother and I are chalk and cheese
As hard as I try we just don’t fit
i.e. when he’s drunk and sees a street sign
He has an urge to relieve himself on it

MY YOUNG SON JUSTIN WAS KNOCKED OUT

My young son Justin was knocked out
Of the latest school’s spelling bee bout
Armageddon was the word that did it
But hey it’s not the end of the world is it

ARE YOU WEARING MORMON GARMENTS?

Are you wearing Mormon garments?
The ones like cool white milk
Are they supposed to be sacred?
Or something of that ilk
Or to preserve your modesty
In sensual soft shimmering silk

ALL ABOUT RACIST SEAFOOD

I saw something shocking
On one of those nature programs
All about racist seafood
They were the Ku Klux Clams

THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

The grass is not greener on the other side
Of the fence, that’s what they tell me
But, what if they’re wrong about that
And you never actually take a look and see

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE SOMEBODY

I always wanted to be somebody,
Which proved to be impolitic
Because I realize that maybe
I should have been more specific.

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A Little Bit Of Humour # 172