A Little Bit Of Humour # 167

THE LVG WAY

Your team should always have a plan “B”
In modern football you would have to say
Unfortunately for Manchester United though
Louis van Gaal doesn’t have a plan “A”

WHY DID THE DIVORCEE CROSS THE ROAD?

Why did the divorcee cross the road?
Well not just to get to the other side
The reason he wanted to cross over
Was so he could avoid another bride

WHEN I HAD MY VERY FIRST GARDEN

When I had my very first garden
It filled me with absolute terror
I didn’t have any experience
But I learnt by trowel and error

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 368

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
He goes to the doctor without hesitation
And four hours later has a penis extension

ARE YOU WEARING ODD SOCKS? # 3

Are you wearing odd socks?
Well it’s not quirky or hipster
And I don’t think it was your intent
I think you must have dementia

THE PLURAL OF FOOT

So if it is correct that
The plural of foot is feet
Then why is the plural of boot,
Boots and not beet

THE INVENTOR OF DENTAL FLOSS

The inventor of dental floss
Was honoured and hailed
When a piece of commemorative
Plaque was unveiled

IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IF # 2

It is a sad fact of life that if
There is a worse time, when
Something can go wrong
Of course it will happen then

IF CLERGYMEN CAN BE DEFROCKED # 2

If clergymen can be defrocked
Then can dry cleaners get de-pressed
Or must songwriters be de-composed
And hair stylists get dis-tressed?

WHEN THE PRINCESS FOUND THE FROG

When the princess found the frog
And the kiss was firmly planted
The prince turned out to be gay
And the Princess was disenchanted

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A Little Bit Of Humour # 167