A Little Bit Of Humour # 171

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 372

Star light, star bright,
The first star I saw tonight
Was truly an epic fail
It was a z-lister from Emmerdale

THE HOUSE MOUSE RULE

If in your home sweet home
You find a solitary mouse
Then it is perfectly acceptable
To call it a house mouse
But if in your home sweet home
You find that you have mice
Then it is quite unacceptable
To refer to them as hice mice

MEN LIKE LOGIC AND SEX

Men like logic and sex
In fact they really like it
But sex better than logic
Though I can't prove it

PUT DOWN # 59

Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “you are the sun and the moon”
Simply don’t be taken in by it
And just say “I may love to shop
But I'm not buying your bull****”

BIMBETTE SAYS SHE CAN COUNT TO SEVENTY

Bimbette says she can count to seventy
But I think that’s very doubtful
Because in my experience she always
Finds sixty nine a bit of a mouthful

SOME PEOPLE ARE UP BEAT

Some people are up beat
And see life as a positive
But I was born to be a pessimist
Even my blood type is B Negative

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SUBSTITUTION

There is absolutely no substitution
Or for that matter an easy solution
For a genuine lack of preparation

MY BROTHER IN LAW IS FROM STRATFORD

My brother in law is from Stratford
He went to Shakespeare's school
No of course he didn’t know him
He was in the year above you fool

THE EXITED STATES OF AMERICA

The exited states of America
Have an upcoming election
And a Trump victory will make
The united states of aggression

A CONFUSED SPERM ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS

A confused sperm asked for directions
Not really a masculine trait
But he asked and was told
Oh I wouldn’t start from here mate

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A Little Bit Of Humour # 171