This is the first time I shared a story with strangers, any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Familiar Strangers
About halfway through the night Mark realised that this would be the last time they would be seeing each other. Despite their claims to the contrary no one would call, write or even try to reach out. No one even bothered to keep the conversation going. The silence was of course nothing new for them. They had known each other for way too long, had told every story more than once and had had every debate over and over again until they had finally settled for pretending to enjoy each other’s company just enough to justify staying friends. No one ever saw a reason to change this. They were expected to socialise, so they met, once a week.
“To Sebastian”, Alex raised his half empty glass, “we will miss you, buddy.”
“To Sebastian”, Anne echoed unenthusiastically, “we will never forget you.”
Mark raised his glass without saying anything. There wasn't much to say and all that had to be said had already been said. Without taking a sip he put his glass back on the table.
“Aren't you going to say anything?”, Alex asked.
Mark shook his head.
The silence crept back over them, only interrupted by the tapping of Anne's fingers on the black wooden table. Alex was swaying his pint and looked at it intently, as if studying the content. Mark didn't do anything. For once he felt no need to keep his hands busy. So he just stared at the wall and counted the seconds. He looked at his watch. Ten past eleven. Another two hours until the pub closed and he could leave without being rude. They all could.
“You know”, Alex said, without really breaking the silence, “I always thought he was going to ask you out any day now.”
Anne looked up from her drink.
“I don't think so.”, she replied coldly. Irritation gave her voice a slight edge.
“Maybe you just didn't see it”, Alex explained and started drawing circles around the brim of his glass, “but he...”
“I saw more than you think”, Anne cut him off, her voice even colder than before, “and if you'd just opened your eyes for once maybe you'd have seen it, too.”
“Whatever.”, Alex said defensively.
Another few Minutes went by without a word. The silence had taken over the table and started to fill up the scratches in the old wood and the cracks in their somewhat comfortable sort-of-friendship, slowly breaking them further apart.
“I need another drink”, Alex frowned at his empty glass and started getting up.
“Take mine”, Mark said and pushed his still untouched pint over the table.
With an appreciative nod Alex picked it up and took a sip.
“It's stale”, he grimaced, although he didn't stop drinking.
“Sorry”, Mark murmured without looking up, “didn't really feel like drinking tonight.”
“It's fine”, Alex replied, “I don't care.”
Once again the conversation stopped. It always stopped at a certain point, when they realised that they were just regurgitating the same old stories, the same old talking points and the same old cemented opinions. But this time they had something to talk about. Or at least they should have. But if nothing else, what had happened to Sebastian had lain bare that they were not friends who had stopped talking because it wasn't relevant for their companionship. They were just familiar strangers who never felt comfortable in sharing anything with each other but the most obvious, most shallow feelings. Alex returned to drawing circles on his glass. Anne started scratching off the nail polish from one of her fingers.
“Can I ask you something, Alex?”, she murmured almost inaudibly and without raising her eyes.
“Yeah”, he said, looking at her in a weak imitation of actually caring.
“Do you blame me for what Sebastian did?”
Alex's fingers stopped midway through another circle. For a few seconds it seemed as if he wouldn't say anything.
“I don't know.”, he said.
Almost immediately the silence that had filled the room turned into tension. Where it had filled the cracks of their so-called-friendship it broke off and exposed nothing but thinly veiled contempt. Anne's face carried an expression of shock, her eyes shimmering red.
“So you do blame me?”, she sounded as if she was choking on her own words.
“I said I don't know!”, Alex shouted without sparing a thought for the people sitting around them, “who would you blame?”
Anne just shook her head, an expression of dismay on her face and tears rolling down her cheeks. She opened her mouth, as if gasping for air, but couldn't say anything. All she produced was an incomprehensible stutter, before she restrained herself. Once again she shook her head, this time in resignation instead of shock.
“I'm going home”, she said and got up.
“Probably for the best”, Alex replied hoarsely, “we should get some sleep.”
Anne nodded absently, her eyes darting towards the exit.
“See you soon?”, Mark asked.
Of course they wouldn't. They knew they wouldn't, but she would still lie and say yes.
“Yes”, Anne said without looking at him, “we'll be in touch.”
Without another word and without looking back she made her way to the door.
“I'll be off, too”, Mark said, “it's been a long day.”
“Alright.”, Alex replied staring straight ahead.
He didn't get up.
When he stepped out of the door Mark expected it to rain. It would have been fitting. Instead he was greeted by a spotless, clear sky, full of stars, like a mockery of the supposed sadness he was supposed to feel. The way reminded him of Sebastian, who had often accompanied him home and afterwards urged him not to tell anyone. Anne was right, he would never had asked her out. Because, although he had been able to lie to others, he wouldn't have been able to lie to himself.
"See you soon, buddy.", Mark whispered as he made his way down the barely lit street.
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